Friday, June 6, 2008
Porters Softball Victory Juggernaut in action
The first glorious chapter has been written in the already legendary adventures of the Porters Softball Victory Juggernaut (D League). The Tahoe City co-ed team's first game was a wild ride, making the coinciding Celtics-Lakers Game 1 seem about as exciting that watching that nun on Public Television who discusses the sultry details of medieval art- "notice the fluffiness of the pubic hair, suggesting an innocence and wildness that transcends the mortal confines of the human body."
In a narrow 12-8 loss, the team and it's drunken cheering section cemented a fraternity and competitive zeal that will surely continue throughout the season. John Segal, acting as 3rd base coach, was brutally nailed in the leg with the ball, effectively ending his night of heckling his own team. Big B hit an in the park homer. Nicky B served up a whopper of a game as pitcher. Finn brazenly stepped on the plate while scoring (against the rules, an automatic out) as if to declare "screw it, we don't need that point anyways!" The post-game near-victory celebration overwhelmed Pete N' Peters in Tahoe City, who could barely keep pace with Houston's slurred requests for Sapphire Tonics.
To our opponents: pray that you are scheduled to play us at 6:30pm, because we WILL arrive to our 7:30pm games 60% more intoxicated and immeasurably more amped. Pray.
-Gaines (Captain, who wasn't at the game)
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